I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
