Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize