He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
