dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
