he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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