Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
