I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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