come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I met the friendliest cop last night
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize