All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
