I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
