Im at strip club and am horny
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
