Kiss
Puke
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
