ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do vagina's smell?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
