but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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