I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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