i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
