end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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