but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
