He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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