Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the day after is always just damage control
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
