Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
