I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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