We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
