ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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