he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
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