last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
