Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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