Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
