maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
