whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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