I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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