Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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