I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
