yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
