I am spending my child support on dildos
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize