please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
