I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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