he thought i was a dude.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
