is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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