I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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