My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
