She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
