At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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