new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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