i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They took my balls.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
