very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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