Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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