Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
