No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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