i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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