I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
