I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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