I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
