I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
