he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize