I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
