i don't like sucking hair
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
