Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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