I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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