therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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