i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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