moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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