Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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